In the previous article, I described some of the attributes of destructive people, the kind who are driven to tear Covens apart, and to break the spirit of people in leadership positions. Really destructive conflict is caused by people who are have a need to engage others in unwinnable contests. Such people generally have very low self-esteem, little regard for those around them, often a rather loose grip on consensual reality, and frequently possess a fair measure of paranoia. Such people are not healthy, they won't get healthy, they don't want to get healthy, and keeping them near you will eventually let them harm you. Treating them as if they were healthy just makes matters worse. For instance, if you respond to such a person's destructive acts with patience and understanding, he or she will learn you respond to destructive acts with patience and understanding, and this will encourage more destructive acts.
I've called such people "trolls," using the mythic and folkloric image of chaotic forces which are natural, but often destructive. It's an image well-rooted in European symbolism. The word conveys some of the sense of danger, but also carries a comic side, as depicted in Tolkein's "The Hobbit" and in a myriad of children's stories. Most of the power which destructive people wield comes from the fear and hesitation they can inspire in others. If their comic side is kept in sight, much of this power can be nullified.
The proper way to deal with a troll is to simply eject such a person from your group. Small Pagan groups, such as covens or groves, are fortunate in this way. The typical coven or grove is run by one person, or by a couple, who are empowered to make such decisions as who can and who can't be a member. This is in contrast to larger religious organizations - churches or synods or even Pagan umbrella organizations. Once a Coven Leader realizes there's a troll in the midst of the coven, all that needs to be done to get rid of the troll is to tell him or her to go away. There doesn't need to be any red tape or formal hearings or anything of that sort. Trolls love red tape, and can usually tie up a whole organization in such a proceeding for months, or even years. Trolls need conflict the way healthy people need food, and a formal hearing - even one whose purpose is an attempt to eject the troll - is exactly the arena in which they thrive.
So, in a nutshell, that's the best way for covens to handle trolls. Just kick them out. All things in nature should be handled in the way appropriate to each kind of thing. You wouldn't allow a tarantula or scorpion to wander about in your sock drawer. This doesn't mean the tarantula is "evil"; it just means that humans don't find a sock drawer to be a convenient place to allow a tarantula to live. Similarly, you want a troll to take his or her destructive tendencies somewhere else, and keep them away from you and your group. The way to do that is to tell such a person to be gone. Don't bother with ceremony or explanations. Such things only provide more opportunities for the troll to engage you in further conflict. They also tell the troll exactly what worked to cause you damage, and what didn't. There's no reason to help trolls improve their trollish skills.
But you wouldn't kick a pet hamster out into the woods, and you wouldn't want to treat a healthy and helpful person the way you'd treat a troll. This means it's important to be able to tell the difference between a healthy person and a troll, just as it's wise to know the difference between a hamster and a tarantula.
Recognizing the Wild Troll
Here are some common characteristics of trolls. Use this list as a guide and as warning signs. But be a little bit cautious. Even healthy people will display some of these traits some of the time. Being Pagans, we're not dualist absolutists here. (As the Books of Raoul say, "Dualism is bad!") If someone displays a couple of these traits every now and then, it could just be a fairly reasonable person on a bad hair day. Use some common sense.
Conversely, there are very few trolls who will display all of these traits, or even a majority of them. One or two bad days, every now and then, does not a troll make. Nor does the absence of several traits necessarily mean the person is really a hamster (or even a wise and productive Covener!) What you're looking for in a person is a pattern. If someone reveals several of these traits, and shows them consistently - or if the person shows only three or four, but shows them to excess - then you're dealing with a troll.
* Amazingly Likeable. Trolls often have the ability to be liked almost immediately. They can be very ingratiating, and seem incredibly open and friendly. It isn't necessary to be suspicious of someone who gives a very positive first impression. Some wonderful people also have a great deal of personal charisma. Instant, karmic connections can happen (and, in Paganism often do); but coupled with other warning signs, this could indicate an attempt at manipulation. Trolls tend to be likeable - it's what keeps them from being immediately recognized. It probably kept them from being beheaded at a young age.
* Gushing Praise. This is related to being Amazingly Likeable. Does the person seem to be trying to butter you up, to identify your insecurities (everybody has some) and to play on them to give you strokes and lull you into acceptance? Does the person give gifts out of proportion to your level of intimacy and acquaintance?
* Gotcha. Does the person seem to find joy in pointing out other people's errors or slips, mistakes and goofs, faults and bad habits? Does the person seem to imply these mean he or she is smarter or better suited to be a leader than is the one who goofed? Does the person sometimes ask questions he or she already knows the answers to, just to see if you know?
* Coven Hopper. Does this person have a history of moving from Coven to Coven, usually (or always) leaving on bad terms? Does he or she have nothing but negative things to say about the leader(s) of previous groups? Does the person exhibit a dislike of Pagan Leaders in general?
* Name Droppers/Initiation Collectors. Does the person expect you to be impressed by the people he or she has met, or the number of groups or Traditions he or she has worked with? Is there frequent reference to his or her marvelous and unmatchable experiences, skills, and knowledge? (Real sages can let their light shine without constant boasting.)
* Excessive Rulehating. Many Pagans are very independent people. However, if someone is going to work within an established group, they need to be willing to follow whatever guidelines that group has, however loose or restrictive those guidelines might be. Trolls hate such restrictions. Healthy people who dislike a given group's rules are willing to admit that particular group may not be right for them, and to look elsewhere without animosity. Trolls will be angry at you personally for running a group which does not suit them.
* Echoes and Re-runs. Is this person frequently involved in arguments and destructive conflicts? Do conflicts seem always to occur and re-occur when this person is around? Does the person accept responsibility for his or her role in previous disagreements, or are these problems always blamed on someone else?
* Unnamed "Others". Are "others" always to blame for this person's problems? Do "others" always agree with this person's concern? Does the person carry tales told to him or her by "others"? Is this person always vague about just exactly who these "others" are?
* Living One's Religion. Does this person exhibit unethical or dishonest and destructive behavior in other areas of his or her life? A destructive person won't stop being destructive in Circle, and trolls object to having you look at other areas of their lives. Someone who is destructive or dishonest in their personal lives will be equally destructive and dishonest in their Craft lives.
* Liar. Is the person often caught in outright lies? Are there excuses and slick explanations always at the ready? Excuses can get pretty imaginative. A common technique is to frequently claim to have misunderstood or misremembered the conversations in question. One troll even invented the condition of "aural dyslexia" to "explain" his frequent false statements.
* Note Takers and Journal Keepers. Trolls like to write things down - slanting the record, of course, to make themselves look good, and to make everyone else look bad. They'll pull out their journals from time to time to "prove" how mean someone else was, or to back up their own incredible claims. Of course, even healthy Pagans often keep magical workbooks and notebooks, so simply keeping a journal - even a highly subjective journal - doesn't make one a troll. But does the person sometimes use these subjective personal accounts to back up a claim? Are these accounts filled with extreme adjectives and intimations of others' imagined states of mind? Does the person seem unable to realize that their journal is subjective testimony, and not an objective and accurate, proven account?
* Excessive Sarcasm. A ready wit is a good thing. A consistently sarcastic and caustic wit, which constantly belittles others, is not. Does the person seem unable to comprehend the painful and destructive effects of his or her own sarcastic statements?
* Pests. Is the person constantly calling with questions, suggestions, personal problems? Does he or she expect you to be willing to drop everything to deal with any and all concerns? Is he or she offended and angry if you can't?
* Causes. A social conscience is a Good Thing, and many Pagans are very active politically. But great social causes can also be a mask for selfish demands, or for a desire for personal power. Does the person heap scorn on those who don't have an equal zeal for the same causes? Does the person use these causes as excuses to start fights - even when it's time to settle down to other work?
* Bad Losers/Bad Winners. In arguments or disagreements - or in games and leisure activities - does the person react well to resolutions? What kind of impression does the person give about past conflicts? Is there excessive gloating when the person wins, or harping and whining when he or she loses? Are personal disagreements often depicted in terms of winning and losing, rather than as attempts to resolve differences? Does a loss provoke retaliation? Does the person use various forms of intimidation, or passive-aggressive techniques, to get what he or she wants?
* Excessive Privacy or Secrecy. Information management is one of the most powerful tools of a troll. Be wary of anyone who tells you too many things "in confidence," or who warns you away from talking to people he or she knew formerly, or people involved in his or her tales. Of course, this does not apply to legitimate Oaths taken in a religious context. Many paths require Oaths of secrecy, and respect for the privacy of others. However:
* Oathbreakers/Braggarts. Is the person only too happy to tell you all the secrets of some other group or tradition? He or she will also treat your privacy with just as much contempt. Is the person inordinately proud of knowing Secrets which other people are not privy to?
* Projection and Inconsistency. "When you complain about something, it's malicious gossip; but when I do, it's just sharing feelings, or warning someone about something." "When I call you nasty names, it's just an accurate description; when you talk about me behind my back, it's slander." Trolls are unable or unwilling to apply the same standards to themselves which they apply to other people. They will violently criticize others for actions they engage in themselves. Does the person seem to have an inability or unwillingness to consider other viewpoints?
* Change Your Focus. If a new person joins your group, does he or she insist on having a better way to do things? Does the person always want to bend the rules of your group, or do away with them? Remember: Paganism is big, and you have no responsibility to provide for the needs of everyone who comes to you. If your group isn't to the liking of a potential member or a new member, there's nothing in the least wrong with insisting that person seek fulfillment elsewhere.
* Inappropriate Application of Pagan principles, such as the value of love and trust, or the Rede, subjective realities and creating your own realities, "going with my feelings," following one's own sense of ethics, 12-step "recovery," and so on. Does the person use Pagan ideals and Newage jargon as excuses and covers for unethical behavior?
This last point is a particularly important one. Trolls love to use vital Pagan principles inappropriately to cover their own destructive actions. This technique is often quite effective, because it can make their actions sound reasonable, even to their victims. This makes it harder to justify ejecting a troll from your group, even when the troll is blatantly tearing everything apart. These problems are particularly troublesome in larger umbrella organizations, where you have to use formal procedures to kick out a troll. A troll can manipulate Pagan principles to get a few people actually defending the troll's actions, and cause dissention and outright warfare within the group of people who are trying to figure out what to do.
Because this particular trollish technique is so important, I'll devote the entire next article to it. This will also illustrate some of the reasons why Pagan groups are such attractive targets for trolls. Understanding our vulnerabilities will lead to being able to construct effective defenses. There are ways of making your group less attractive to a troll, and there are was of making a troll's impact less damaging. But it's necessary to first understand where our weak points are.
Copyright (c) 2002 David Petterson
May be recirculated as long as this information is included
